By Jim Vallet and Robert Perea
I was very lucky growing up.
I had an idyllic childhood, and, truth be told, I was more than a little bit spoiled. So, it won’t be surprising to learn that my siblings and I have many wonderful memories of Christmas in our town that I would compare to the neighborhood on the TV show, “The Wonder Years”.
I remember our silver aluminum tree that turned constantly to the hum of its motor. We had a spotlight that projected four different colors onto our beautiful fake tree so that no ornament was hidden. The thrill of coming home from midnight mass on Christmas Eve and seeing the colorfully wrapped presents under the rotating quad colored tree was…I don’t know how we managed to sit through church.
So, I had a great childhood, even though (because) I was spoiled. So, I guess it’s not surprising to hear that we had a ranking of gifts, from worst to WOW, THANKS.
The bottom tier of gifts was clothes. Any kind of clothes. I even remember my sister’s less than enthusiastic reaction to tearing open the promising looking paper to see…a new sweater. There was my Aunt Rose and Uncle Ollie, who always got us clothes. They gifted me gloves (black dress-up gloves) , ties, socks, underwear, and dress shirts. Not even a Tiger tee-shirt or jacket, although since they didn’t exist at that time, I can’t really blame them. My Aunt Rose and Uncle Ollie’s gifts were always the last ones opened.
The next tier, which was only a little higher up, was books. What do we need those for? We go to the library and we don’t use up any gift capital. Not only did our neighbors get us books every year, but they were what they called “the classics”. No comic books. And to me, “the classics” was an adult code word for “boring.” If any parents are reading this, I have always loved to read but I did not appreciate “Treasure Island” at 10.
Next up the hierarchical ladder was anything “educational.” My closet was full of barely used microscopes, slide rules, kaleidoscopes, and those things that looked like binoculars but had slides in them to view things like The Seven Wonders of the World and Monuments of Washington, D.C. Our engineer neighbors thought that was what I wanted.
Up higher were gift cards and cash. I think I picked up on my parents’ disapproving looks as I opened those cards, because how can I not like free food at McDonald’s or a gratuitous trip to a Saturday afternoon movie? Those kinds of gifts came from relatives that we hardly ever saw, and when they came to our house, they didn’t stay long.
Next up were games. As pre-internet kids, we spent a great deal of time playing games like All-Star Baseball, Strat-O-Matic, Monopoly, Operation, Sketchamatic, and Stratego. Those were fun games and usually came from Santa.
The best gifts were things we could use and play with, like bikes, scooters, tape recorders, a light for your bike that came on when you pedaled, a flashlight, a fishing pole, a transistor radio, to name a few. Those gifts ALWAYS came from Santa and make me love and miss my parents more than ever.
One group of gifts that my parents always bought for me but not for Christmas was my important sports equipment. These were my baseball glove, my hockey stick and my hockey skates. Those were gifts that my parents agreed with me that only I could pick out. Sports that I didn’t care about as much like golf, skiing, or football didn’t need my special stamp of approval. And, what I considered non-essential equipment for my favorite sports didn’t need my approval, either, so items like baseball spikes, hockey shoulder and elbow pads were ok for Santa to bring. I guess I wasn’t worried Santa could mess those things up.
I wish I had thanked my parents more and could thank them now.
Last week in the NFL was a disaster for me. First, I got unceremoniously booted out of my fantasy league playoffs. Then, speaking of coal, look how my “gifts” of NFL picks worked out. 1-6, Ouch! Not only 1-6, but what the frick were you thinking 1-6. How could anyone have picked the Raiders? And, How ‘bout them Dolphins?! Really, the Bengals only lost by 24. Geez…
Still, if you want to read them, I do have some observations.
Philip Rivers looks like the high school coach, which he is, in a football uniform. Those ducks are gonna start getting intercepted soon.
Aaron Rodgers seems to think the football is a hot potato. Talk about chuck ‘n duck!
I hope the best QB I have seen play can come back to his previous form. I’ll miss the excitement Patrick Mahomes brings to the playoffs. I also hope Micah Parsons can come back.
I’m now afraid that the Detroit Lions are going to miss the playoffs.
I’m not sure what “strategy” Dolphins’ Coach Mike McDaniel was employing at the end of the game Monday night. And, the sooner they move on from Tua, the better off they’ll be, although he wasn’t supported by a ton of Dolphin effort.
I hope Joe Burrow just had one bad game, and not a career crisis as he seemed to indicate last week.
The Raiders stink even worse than I thought. Question: What idiot would draft Ashton Jeanty first? Answer: Me.
The Browns are now thinking of bringing back Deshaun Watson. Well, before all the female massage therapists in Cleveland leave town, take a look at Tua Tagovailoa or Philip Rivers. They can't play quarterback on the NFL level, either, but you can claim a moral high ground.
Well, after venting my spleen, I’ll try to pick games against the spread again. Lines are from espn.com on Wednesday, December 17.
Philadelphia Eagles (-6 ½) at Washington Commanders: I have said, and still believe, that the only team that can beat the Eagles is the Eagles. Still, was last week because of the Eagles or the ineptitude of the Raiders?
New Orleans Saints (-4 ½) vs New York Jets: Who would have thought this a couple of weeks ago?
Kansas City Chiefs (-3) at Tennessee Titans: I know Patrick Mahomes is great, but this game opened KC -11 ½!!
Los Angeles Chargers (+2 ½) at Dallas Cowboys: Were the oddsmakers watching Sunday night’s game?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3) at Carolina Panthers: The Bucs have too much talent to lose this must win game to the Panthers. (Don’t they?)
Denver Broncos (-3) vs Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville is no joke, but Denver is better.
Houston Texans (-14 ½) vs Las Vegas Raiders: If the Texans score 15, they’ll cover.
Baltimore Ravens (-3) vs New England Patriots: Last week I thought I saw the real Lamar Jackson.
San Francisco 49ers (-6 ½) at Indianapolis Colts: The Colts have a good team, and a 44 year old QB who hadn’t played in 5 years. The 49ers are hot.
Last week 1-6
Season 53-44
Robert’s picks
Memphis (+3 ½) over NC State: Outside of the playoff games, the outcome of most bowl games are determined by motivation, and that’s usually impossible to know from outside the program. But if the news reports are to be believed, Memphis has had only two players opt out, even though its coach is off to Arkansas. If that’s the case, then Memphis is a live dog. Even though they lost their last three games, to Tulane, East Carolina and Navy, they would probably have been favored over NC State on a neutral field before that 3-game run. But those are all good teams and I don’t think it reflects negatively at all on Memphis. NC State’s defense ranks 115th in the country, and that’s not a unit that deserves to lay more than a field goal at a neutral site.
Alabama (+1) over Oklahoma: While I agree that with three losses, Alabama is the team in the playoffs that doesn’t belong, I also believe they’re in a strong position to win this game. Jam Miller should be back for the Crimson Tide, and their running game isn’t the same without him. Also, tight end Josh Cuevas has been out since he got hurt the first time these teams met, and his importance as a run blocker is similar to George Kittle for the 49ers. Speaking of the first time these teams played, Oklahoma won 23-21 but Alabama had more first downs, 23-12, more yards, 406-212, but had three turnovers, including an 87-yard pick six. Alabama is a better team than Oklahoma, but the scoreboard didn’t reflect it that day. It will Friday night.
Miami (+3 ½) over Texas A&M: I wrote a couple weeks ago when A&M played Texas that I was skeptical of the Aggies because they hadn’t played any of the other top eight teams in the SEC play. That 27-17 loss to the Longhorns is still the only team in the top half of the SEC they faced. Kudos to them for beating the teams they did play, and that’s why they’re here, but I think they bow out with a first-round loss against one of the best defenses in the country.
Packers (+1 ½) at Bears: Two weeks ago I was on the Bears +6 ½ against the Packers, but the Packers made the clutch plays when it mattered and I lost by a half point. This game probably likewise comes down to clutch time, and I trust the Packers more than the Bears to come up big when it matters.
Buccaneers (-3) at Panthers: Is this two-game losing streak by the Buccs, as part of a larger 1-5 stretch overall since their bye in Week 9, just an indicator of where the Buccs are now? Or, at the players going to be as mad as coach Todd Bowles was in his postgame press conference last Thursday? More importantly, can the Panthers show up and win a game that matters, after they were unable to do so last week when everything was on the table for them? My answers to those questions are No, Most Definitely, and I Don’t Think So.
Patriots (+3) at Ravens: Other than last week, nothing seems to come easy for the Ravens this season. Now they’re favored over a team that is better in almost every statistical category. I get that they’re only favored by roughly the home-field advantage, but I’m not sure they’ve even earned that in this matchup. Even though they lost to the Bills last week, I came away more impressed with the Patriots than in any other game. I could be wrong, but I’m a believer now, and I’m counting on them to prove it some more this week.
Last Week
College No Plays
NFL 3-0
Season
College 22-21-1
NFL 21-23-1
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